the week in review

so at last the week is coming to a close. let's review, shall we?

1. sunday = easter.
i have "issues" with the resurrection, so it's not a top holiday on my list to begin with. we always have easter with aaron's senile grandparents, who i love. but they live 1 1/2 hours away and owen is not exactly a car-guy. the house is full of breakable china things and i spent the whole time outside, trying to keep owen from being killed by cars speeding by. he didn't have lunch with us, barely napped, and screamed most of the way home, while his hung over auntie, who was also in the car, desperately tried to "reason" with him. i came home in tears and sobbed about "why do i hate holidays so much?" and went to bed with puffy eyeballs.

2. monday = foolish holiday.
in new england, monday is patriot's day and is supposed to reflect the beginning of our fight for independence. it's a bunch of bullshit.
i got roped into taking care of my nephews who are mercilessly mean to owen.

3. tuesday = back to work.
came back to a shitstorm at work where there is drama around every bend due to the ever-changing environment of residential care. my new nurse is rubbing folks the wrong way. so i am playing diplomat. (it's okay to laugh)

4. wednesday
i cried essentially all day on wednesday. i had a doctor's appointment and my midwife asked how i was doing "emotionally." needless to say, i lost it and went into a litany of all of my worries and concerns. it also became exceedingly clear that i am feeling too much pressure as the boss, super-mom, do-it-all woman that i have been for the last few years. then i visited with my sister in law, continued to cry the afternoon away and finally lost my wallet that night. once i came home, i cried again to aaron and told him that i hated to nag but that i needed him to start making money or being home, because without his support in either area, it meant that i needed to make all the money, bring home benefits, take care of owen in every moment of free time. since he's working so hard to make money, he's never around. and he's not making any money.

5. thursday
woke up feeling like total shit due to all of the tears shed the days before. had an incredibly long day at work and learned that owen STILL has an ear infection. aaron offered to bring him to the doctor, get the meds, etc. it's the first time he's ever done that. i spent the evening talking to the baby in my belly and assuring him/her that all of the tears are about life things and not baby. then spent the rest of the night repeating the mantra "keep perspective."

6. friday
so far so good. i haven't cried today. the sun is out. work is do-able, even though i have to give hard feedback to some staff. tuna is with me in my office and owen is napping at my mom's. my fabulous mom who said that she will take care of newborn baby after my maternity leave, while i work.