20 days later

it's been nearly three weeks since my last post. i've been doing a lot of long-hand writing that's been keeping me busy and away from technology in general.

just had an incredibly annoying phone call with my mother. god, i hope i can pull it together for my own kids and not do the guilt tripping master manipulator thing. it's old. and i identify it in these talks with my mom, but it still burns me! why? when i know exactly what is going on. yet i'm still affected and get off the phone with wet eyes!

long story short-- mom takes another pot shot at a decision of mine. Namely, my choice of childcare provider for owen. i don't see mother-dearest stepping up to the plate to take care of said child. she's not offering to give me oodles of cash so that i could stay home with said child. i feel as though my hands are tied in a situation like this. i am just plain old doing the best that i can... and yet, still with the "i just can't bear to know that he's over there." i mean, honestly, it's not that bad.